king stupid

i have a confession. my confession is that i am not a dog. i am a man, and my name is ryan. i am still somewhat drunk from last night and i might throw up.


Here’s the raw interview footage of those two white trash dumpster rats who robbed a Girl Scout of her cookie money in broad daylight in front of a Florida Winn Dixie.

I love this video. It’s like an underground trailer for Harmony Korine’s “Spring Breakers.” It’s pitch perfect, a delicious little slice of uncut American narcissism.

These tacky little cunts have no guilt. They have no shame. They’re stupid, shallow, Starbucks-swilling sociopaths.

Of course you hate them. You’re supposed to hate them. That’s the whole point, though. You’re not supposed to reflect. You’re just supposed to react.

By all means, hate these two little pieces of shit. Hating them is cheap and easy and it feels good, but while we’re at it, let’s also take a hot minute and recognize ourselves.

This is our culture. This is who we are, and not even at our worst. These girls are perfectly average. They had an average public education in an average middle class neighborhood in an average city. They are average American teenage girls in every way.

That’s the most wonderful and horrifying thing about this video. It’s inescapable fucking poetry about the American experience filled with Girl Scouts and what they can grow up to become.

It really is who we are.

Things like this make me feel slightly less bad about being a human, because, like, at least I’m not as terrible as these humans.

(via sykelifeisawesome)

  • 4 June 2012
  • 672